Today, I want to talk about martinis. And that means I have to talk about the first and worst time I ever got drunk on martinis.
It was just before I learned to bartend, which is itself kind of an entertaining story that I wrote about elsewhere in these pages. But since that hadn’t yet happened—since I hadn’t yet fumbled my way into the small shred of knowledge that comes along with serving a controlled substance to people while trying to woo them into giving you as much of their extra money as they’re comfortable with—I was still pretty ignorant. Which meant I thought it would be a good idea to take the woman who would later become my wife to dinner at a place in Harvard Square called Upstairs on the Square.
Upstairs on the Square is by far the gaudiest restaurant I have ever been to in my entire life. I don’t often use superlatives, but in this case, I have to. I also don’t often use the word gaudy, but there is no other way to describe this place. Imagine a tea room. Upholstered chairs. A lot of fragile things. Ornately paneled walls that were painted hot pink, electric purple, moss green. If Dr. Seuss and Lewis Carroll did a bunch of acid together and then decided to model the interior of a building off of a wedding cake they saw in an 1887 issue of Good Housekeeping, the result would be Upstairs on the Square.
It was a strange joint. Still, Jenny and I had a fun time, and while I can only vaguely remember eating some slab of beef that was good but not great, I do remember having three (or was it four?) bone dry Hendricks martinis over the course of our meal. I also remember later stumbling out of the passenger seat of Jenny’s car in the middle of Central Square, screaming an embarrassing song I will not name at the top of my lungs, desperate for a slice of Hi-Fi pizza that would not save me from the hangover to come.
All of this is just to say that martinis are fantastic. And that they are not to be taken lightly.
Here’s the other thing about martinis. They’re so simple. A martini calls for two ingredients, or really, just one, if you want to let the base spirit shine. And yet don’t be fooled by the simple recipe; to make a good martini, you have to nail the technique.
Martini
Ingredients
2 ½ oz. gin
½ oz. dry vermouth
1 dash of Regan’s orange bitters
Lemon twist or olive for garnish
Directions
Add liquid ingredients to a mixing glass and fill approximately 2/3 full with ice.
Stir for approximately 30 seconds.
Strain into a chilled coupe glass.
Garnish and serve.
Notes / Tips:
Start by putting the coupe in the freezer. You can do the same for the gin if you like. Do this at least an hour before you want to make the cocktail. Wait until the very last second to take the chilled coupe out of the freezer (do this after stirring), then strain your drink and garnish it.
Use large (at least 1 inch) ice cubes. This will help you stir the drink for a longer period of time and get it ice cold, without overdiluting it. 30 seconds of stirring with 3 big cubes like this should put you at the ideal temperature for a drink, which is between 18 and 23 degrees Fahrenheit. If you’re a home bartender who’s new to the cocktail stirring game, just know that you have to get the spoon in on the side of the cubes and then get them all moving as one big block. If you want an extremely detailed tutorial on stirring (and pretty much everything else bar-related), check out the Death & Co. book. It’s one my faves.
Pull back on the vermouth amount according to your taste.
Use gin. Why on earth would you ever use vodka? I’m only half joking. I don’t “get” vodka. I would rather just inject alcohol into my bloodstream and then quickly drink a glass of ice water. And yet I respect that plenty of people prefer vodka for whatever reason. On a related note, for anyone who is seeking NA options, I have been hearing really good things about Seedlip, but have yet to try it. I’ve read about their processes though, and get the sense that they distill with botanicals in much the same way that gin is made. I’ll report back once I’ve actually tested it.
As for what gin to use, wow, that’s a tough one. Plymouth is a great starter gin, as it has a lower ABV than a traditional London Dry style like Beefeater or Tanqueray. And then you can get into the “New Western” or “American” styles, such as Hendricks, which will not only get a young fool drunk and singing in the street (see above), but it also glides across the palette with floral notes anchored by infusions of rose and cucumber. I could go on and on about gin; we may or may not have named our youngest daughter Juniper because of my love of this spirit. But I’ll save some of that for a later post.
I also love Roku gin (think: yuzu, floral, slightly bitter), which is what I’m drinking this evening, in part to honor Ashtin Berry, who was the recipient of the Roku Industry Icon Award for 2020. Ashtin, as you may recall from previous emails, is the founder of Radical Xchange, the organization that Ideas Over Drinks contributed to in January. I mention her again here because she and Radical Xchange are hosting an online symposium on February 27 and 28 called Resistance Served. The theme this year is Underground Economies, and it’s about understanding the contributions of BIPOC hospitality workers and working to transform hospitality in America into a more equitable space. It’s free to attend; Ashtin will be posting the link to the livestream on her Instagram, and I think it could be beneficial for anyone who’s concerned with how restaurants are going to come back online—and who is going to benefit—as we continue to make our way through Covid-19.
Thank you, as always, for reading. Next week, for subscribers, I’ll crush some ice and make a swizzle. Also, I’ve been reading a number of books I want to review, and as I look forward to the next free issue at the start of March, I just need to pick one! If you want, let me know what you’re reading or listening to these days, and fire up any questions (or strong opinions!) about martinis or otherwise.
Cheers,
J.
Tina and I bought a bottle of Roku for her parents last year. I don't drink gin much but I liked it! Just finished listening to the audiobook of the Vanishing Half by Brit Bennet yesterday and I loved it. You will be proud of me - I think I've read as many fiction books as non-fiction this year so far ;)