Hi all!
Welcome to the second free edition of Ideas Over Drinks! I don’t know about you, but I’ve been having one of those weeks where the near-total darkness that arrives by 4:30 pm, combined with our family’s self-imposed quarantine because of the pandemic, combined with the fire hose of needs that comes with taking care of two brilliant but occasionally exacerbating children—well, it’s been a lot to handle. But here we are. I’m ready for a martini. First though, I want to share a bit about an author, and his new book that I think might be worth your time.
The first time I hung out with Shu Matsuo Post was on a hill in the middle of Hong Kong. He worked with my wife, and since we were both training for marathons at the time, we decided to meet up and go on a long run together. As we went back and forth along Bowen Road, at turns level with the peaks of skyscrapers that jutted up from one of the most magnificent harbors in the world, I learned a lot about Shu. He told me about the woman who would eventually become his wife, and how she was helping him understand gender expectations in a new light. And later, on another long run, when he was already planning on moving back to his home country of Japan and I asked him about his goals, Shu said these exact words to me: “I want to challenge Japan with feminism.”
I want to challenge Japan with feminism. I’ll never forget that. It was so earnest, so bold. And now Shu’s done it. He just published his first book, entitled I Took Her Name, and it’s all about his journey to becoming a feminist. As I read it, I kept thinking, Yes! This book is so important. So many men need to read this book, to realize that being a feminist is not only something to be proud of, but is also a choice that could help free them from the constraints of conventional masculinity.
Clearly, I’m biased. The author is a good friend of mine. He actually interviewed me for his book, and that interview was crucial in helping me crystalize more of my thinking on masculinity. Soon afterward, I wrote a piece for The Washington Post about how I love being a stay-at-home dad, and yet I still struggle with what it says about me as a man. That essay is one of the most honest and most vulnerable things I’ve ever published, and it wouldn’t have come together quite so well if not for that interview. But even if I didn’t know Shu, I’d admire his book. I love the way he establishes a solid foundation of research and analysis, while blending in his personal experiences to keep the narrative moving. I also enjoyed how the text illuminates various differences between Japan and America, and yet isn’t afraid to critique the ways in which the patriarchy is entrenched in both cultures.
Fans of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s We Should All Be Feminists might read I Took Her Name and think, Yeah, it’s about time a guy said it too! Because Matsuo Post’s is a sort of kindred text to Adichie’s, which I also loved and have written about. So while I will be curious to hear responses from women and people across the gender spectrum about I Took Her Name, I’ll conclude for now by saying that, as a man, I was really grateful for this book, and I hope a lot of people read it and take its lessons to heart.
Before I turn the hard corner to say a thing or two about bar tools, I want to make clear that the links to books I provide will take you to my bookshop.org page. I’ve recently updated it, and my wife Jenny and my daughters have added some of their favorite books too. (Read their picks and be like my superheroes!) As I mentioned in the first newsletter, I like Bookshop because they distribute the bulk of their profits to local, independent bookstores. If you buy through my page, they distribute to a general pool benefiting local bookstores, and I also receive a small commission (more on my plans for donating this commission in the next newsletter). You can also go into Bookshop and search for a local bookstore of your choice; in that case, that store will receive even more of the profits, which I am absolutely all for. As I have mentioned on my Instagram feed, Jenny and I often choose to support a Black-owned bookstore in Chicago called Semicolon, and another one in Akron called Elizabeth’s.
I’m not a big fan of Amazon, for reasons I will discuss further in a future newsletter. But listen, there’s no getting around it: Amazon is convenient as hell, and it’s always going to be less costly than supporting a local bookstore, either through Bookshop or directly. It’s one of the many markers of my privilege that I can try to distance myself from Amazon, even slightly (we still buy stuff from them, especially diapers, because the butt sponges are expensive and the ‘Zon sells ‘em on the relative cheap). Shu and his publisher are however offering the Kindle version of I Took Her Name for 99 cents for the next week, and that’s a great deal.
Now, the booze. I’m going to make a few assumptions. Even though in high school, my freshman year English teacher told me that to assume would make an ass out of u and me. (You’re the best, Ms. D!) I’m going to assume that some readers here already have some solid bar tools, whereas others are like, “What are you talking about, Tall Bald Guy? This isn’t a mechanics workshop.” But it is, really. Because as some of my former coworkers reading this will attest (hey, y’all!), if you’re interested in making great drinks, you do have to put together a little workshop. And in the picture below are the bar tools I think are worthwhile to have at home.
Starting with the spoon, I’ll work clockwise.
Barspoon: As I said in the last post, you don’t need this. But damn, if you learn how to stir well (more on that later), you’ll quickly be able to tell the difference between a junky spoon and a good one. Some of the best barspoons online are available at Cocktail Kingdom. (You can find most of the tools I mention here at Cocktail Kingdom. Maybe someday they’ll toss me a commission for recommending their gear, but that day hasn’t come yet. I still think they’re a vendor worth checking out, especially if you’re going to treat yourself or someone else this holiday season.) I like the teardrop style barspoon because it provides a good counterweight and balance.
Jigger: Unless you’re a badass free pourer who knows all the respective weights and velocities of every spirit and liqueur and also a person who never drinks too much coffee and never gets distracted, you need something to measure with. I like the look and feel of the tall, Japanese style 1 oz./2 oz. jiggers, with ½ oz., ¾ oz., and 1 ½ oz. hashmarks on the inside. Since you have to fill all the way to the top, with a slight meniscus of liquid, to get exactly 1 or 2 ounces, they aren’t as easy to use as the wider, more common styles. So if ease is your thing—Why wouldn’t it be?—then go with one of those. Just know that the wider jiggers don’t always have the hashmarks for measuring smaller amounts.
Ice cube tray: Ice is the most important ingredient in any cocktail. And solid (at least 1”) cubes will go a long way toward making sure you get your drinks cold but don’t overdilute them.
Pint glass: This is where you’ll build your drinks. It’s also where you might drink your water or beer or what have you.
Shaker tin: This is what you’ll put on top of the pint glass to shake any drink with citrus in it. Shaking is one of a million things I’ll talk more about later (it’s always later with this guy!), but if you don’t want to wait to hear all the technical stuff, such as how to properly seal and shake a tin, I highly recommend you check out Jeffery Morgenthaler’s The Bar Book. It’s in my top 3 bar books, no doubt.
Notebook: How else are you going to remember all the recipes? Another shout-out to Jeff for being the guy who told me I had to have one of these, specifically the Moleskin kind with the A-Z tabs on the pages for quick reference.
Peeler: The main thing is that it should be perpendicularly-oriented like this, and not flimsy. I used to work with a bartender who hated the fact that I used a Martha Stewart-brand peeler behind the bar, so he put painter’s tape over Martha’s name and wrote an anarchy symbol on it. He was kind of an asshole, but then again, Martha probably deserved it.
Hawthorne strainer: For shaken drinks. And anything with carbonation.
Julep strainer: For stirred drinks. You can hack it without strainers if need be by using the shaker tin or a plate to cover the glass as you pour. Just be careful, or rather, as we say to our kids, make smart choices.
Citrus juicer: For, you know, citrus.
And that’s all I’ve got for now. It’s late where I’m at, and like I said, I want a martini. I want a dry Roku gin martini with a lemon twist and I want you to check out Shu’s book and I want you to think about your personal definition of masculinity and how it’s working out for you and… Phew! It’s all a lot to ask, I know. But hey, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Right?
Over the next few posts, I’ll be writing about the tragi-comedy of social media, sharing some winter drink recipes, and also dropping some life insights from my kiddos for subscribers. Until then, be well, stay safe, and thanks so much for reading. And if you liked this newsletter, please share it! Or if you know someone who wouldn’t be mad at you for getting them a weekly subscription as a gift, well, I wouldn’t be mad either.
Cheers!
– J.